If the past 20 months have taught us anything, it is that “traditions CAN be broken.” There is no doubt the arrival of COVID-19 forced everyone in the wedding industry to re-think what was essential, and the result is something remarkable. Today’s weddings are all about the couple, and their own individual personalities, likes, and dreams for how “they” want to share their love story. We are super excited about this because each wedding is now a unique experience rather than the same old boring, scripted wedding. So, what are some wedding traditions you can skip & not feel bad about? If you want to blaze a new trail with your wedding event, here are some age-old traditions that you can drop even though your grandma or great-aunt might object.
Wedding Traditions
The White Dress
This is probably one of the most known wedding traditions, but it is also the most misunderstood. Many people believe that brides dating back to the beginning of time got married in white. And the reason for wearing white was that it symbolized purity or innocence and conveyed the bride’s virginity. However, the actual history of the white wedding dress really only dates back 180 years to 1840. Wikipedia states that many believe the trend got started by Queen Victoria, who chose to marry Prince Albert in white.
Before Queen Victoria changed wedding fashion trends forever, the previous royal brides generally wore heavily brocaded gowns and were embroidered with white and silver threading. The dress would have most likely been red, as that was extremely popular in Western Europe at the time. Definitely a dramatic difference from the wedding style Queen Victoria donned in 1840.
But dating back even further than 1840, including the Medieval and Renaissance times, brides around the globe got married in vibrantly colorful gowns. Weddings in ancient times were typically arranged. And the Brides had to dress in a way that represented her family’s social standing. If the family were in high social status, the bride would dress in luxurious (and expensive) fabrics and often had glamorous gems sewn into her garment. Several shades of blue were also trendy, and brides in medieval times were also known to wear red, green, yellow, or other colors. Once the Renaissance times rolled around, styles changed to include more ornate details, longer trains, and the gowns were predominantly burgundies in color.
For the past 180 years, brides in Western cultures generally stuck to the “white wedding dress,” but today, in modern times, this has once again changed. Today’s brides are embracing color again and wearing whatever they want. Wedding gowns can be found in various “shades of white,” including many ivories, champagnes, sand, off-white, etc. But many dresses are black, red, blue, gold, pink, and even floral print.
When you’re ready to commit yourself, and your undying love for your spouse, where what makes you happy, what makes you feel confident and alive. And if that’s not a white wedding dress, that’s ok. So embrace your inner fashion diva and rock a colorful wedding dress!
Bridesmaids Are Women & Groomsmen Are Men
Well, this seems to have held true for a long, but now couples are mixing things up. Gone is the age-old tradition that your bridal party had to be girls and the groomsmen had to be guys. So celebrate your love, your way, and have a Best Woman or a Man of Honor. Coordinate their fashion to fit well with the rest of the party and accessories and create unforgettable memories.
You Can’t See Each Other Before The “I Do’s.”
Many years ago, this wedding tradition flew out the window when couples decided that they didn’t want such a long time away from guests after the ceremony. Instead, old wedding traditions had the couple saying their vows, then being whisked away to a holding room and for photos while the guests enjoyed the cocktail reception.
Today, couples want to enjoy their guests and every bit of the reception, so they opt to take photos before the ceremony and do first looks to spend a little intimate time alone before all the festivities begin. It’s totally ok, to see each other before your “I Do’s.”
Your Wedding Rings Have To Match
Sure! Most couples will select wedding rings that are similar in design and tone, but it’s not something that is set in stone. Your wedding ring is a symbol of your commitment to each other, but they don’t have to match. If your spouse loves yellow gold and you love platinum, it’s ok. Do you! After all, you’re going to be wearing it for a lifetime, so you want to choose a ring that you’ll love forever.
Brides Side, Grooms Side
This one never really made sense to us anyway, so we’re happy to see couples ditching it. Today most wedding guests are friends of both the bride and groom (or bride and bride, groom and groom) so not having specific sides makes sense. Have a cute sign that fits your wedding theme that says, “Choose a seat, not a side – we’re all family once the knot is tied.”
Age-Old Wedding Traditions You Can Skip
Ceremony Seating
Chairs and pews were the long traditional ceremony seating option, but today it can be anything. Rather than sticking to boring seating options, couples are getting super creative and designing wedding ceremonies with a theme and seating to match. So you may attend a wedding that has bales of hay as seating, or funky lounge chairs, maybe even just some posh cushions on the ground…the sky is the limit when it comes to wedding ceremony seating today.
Matching Dresses
Nope! This is one wedding tradition that got ditched a long time ago. You no longer have to have all of your girls wearing matching bridesmaid dresses. Instead, let them choose a style they love and can actually enjoy wearing again. After all, being a bridesmaid requires a significant financial investment. It can be a financial burden, from planning and attending bridal showers, bachelorette parties to the bridesmaid’s dress, wedding hair, makeup, and more. So, instead of forcing them to wear a bridesmaid dress that they’ll never wear again, let them choose a dress they love and can get more value from. Coordinate the looks, or go totally fashion crazy and mix them up with different prints and patterns. It’s your day and your prerogative.
Flower Girls & Ring Bearers Are Always Kids
Oh! We love this one. Sure, generally speaking, flower girls and ring bearers are kids, but how fun is the new trend that has your Grandma as the flower girl or one of your closest grown friends as the ring bearer. Talk about an exciting and unforgettable moment! Having grown people perform these duties will WOW all your guests and create viral moments that may turn epic. We love it!
The Garter & Bouquet Toss
These are two events that can definitely be put on the shelf. However, there are many creative activities that you can incorporate into your wedding other than a garter and bouquet toss. After all, it’s pretty uncomfortable (but funny) for the groom to be going under the wedding dress in front of all your closest family and friends. So instead, you can have a dance-off competition, an anniversary dance (where all married couples hit the dance floor), or play games like corn hole.
Cutting The Cake
Tiered wedding cakes may have been around since the Roman days, but they aren’t a wedding requirement. Yes, you probably want to serve a dessert option, but it doesn’t have to be a fancy wedding cake. Scripted events such as “cutting the cake” take away from enjoying your guests and the party. It’s a break in the festivities that seems to halt the celebration. Instead, you can offer guests a passed dessert or maybe have a few dessert stations that they can choose themselves. Doing this means the celebration and party can continue without interruption.
Ditch The Traditional Wedding Registry
We get it! In ancient times and throughout history, couples did not live together before getting married, so they needed many household items. The wedding registry was a great way to get all of the things they would need to start their family life together. They needed silverware, dishes, glasses, linens, and everything you can imagine. But today, most couples already live together, so those items are not needed.
Non-traditional wedding registries are increasing in popularity. Today you can see honeymoon registries and even donation registries. Donation registries are pretty cool because instead of you getting stuff you don’t need, donations are made to your favorite charity. The gift of giving is always a great substitute. And honeymoon registries can mean you can take an extra lavish getaway that you otherwise wouldn’t have gotten to enjoy.
We’re super excited that modern weddings are evolving to become more personal and connected to what each couple really loves and enjoys. The saying “It’s your wedding” has even more meaning now, and we love it. So, if you’re getting started planning your wedding or are knee-deep in the process, remember this…it’s your day; plan it how you want.
