Choosing to write your own wedding vows can be a beautiful and intimate undertaking. Trying to summarize the overwhelming love and devotion you feel for another person can be difficult and all consuming. Nevertheless, no one can exactly put into words how you feel about someone better than you. To help you on your writing journey here are a few tips and tricks for writing your own wedding vows.
Wedding Vow Tips
Tip #1: Write Multiple Drafts
Think about it my friend, you are going to get up in front of all of your family, friends, and the person you’ve chosen to go through life with you don’t want to get up there with the very first thing you put on paper. Give it some time. Write the first draft and let it mellow for a few days and then revisit to start on draft two! Aim to complete three to five drafts before finalizing
Tip #2 Don’t Include Everything
The odds are that the person you are marrying knows how you feel about them which is why they are standing up there with you. You don’t have to get every unspeakable thing onto paper and you vows are for the person in front of you, not the entire audience. Speak to them.
Tip #3 Go for funny NOT corny
You can totally add in some good humor just make sure your focus is on true, honest, and sentimental jokes and not corny innuendos. You are making promises to someone and while it’s okay to illicit a smile or a laugh the goal isn’t to be so obnoxious that people roll their eyes or your partner doesn’t take you seriously
Tip #4 PRACTICE THEM OUTLOUD
Remember when you were a kid in school and the teacher would have everyone read a paragraph and you would count ahead in your book to see which paragraph you had so you could practice before it was your turn to read out loud? Well, this is far more important than any old textbook. You need to practice out loud!
Tip #5 Make a Fresh Copy for the Ceremony
While not the most necessary thing, consider printing out a new copy of your vows or reading them from a vow book. People will NOT be focusing on the aesthetic of the material you read your vows off of, but your photographer will be snapping pictures left and right so it’s best to be ready!
Tip #6 Keep Your Vows A Secret
Beyond having a close, trusted friend listen to your vows to make sure they sound okay, you shouldn’t share them with anyone else and this includes your partner. The more people you tell the more it takes away from having that special moment with all of them during your wedding or in an intimate moment between the two of you prior to the start of the wedding.
Wedding Vow Outline
Trying to come up with a general template for the wedding vows is a great place to start before writing them. Be sure to use poems, music, books, etc. to draw inspiration from but here is the general outline.
1.) Say “I love you”
While it may seem like a simple suggestion it’s pretty easy to leave these three little words out when you are describing the meaning behind them. Don’t miss this step and be sure to say, ‘I love you.’
2.) Share Personal Stories
This can be the funny tidbit about the embarrassing thing your partner did that made you fall head over heels, or it can be the time they showed you true unconditional love. This is a place for your partner and guests to take a peek into your mind. Afterall sharing a personal story you are only telling your side of the story and your version of events. It’s a rare look into your mind and heart.
3.) Remind Your Partner You’ll Be There Through the Highs and Lows
Let’s be honest the lows don’t last always, but neither do the highs. Reminding your partner that you are someone they can depend on as you both learn to navigate life, and life with each other is important. It’s also just a nice reminder to have while you’re at the altar.
4.) Make Promises You Intend to Keep
Vows aren’t intended to just be short form love letters; their purpose is to allow each partner to express their promises to the other. Be sure to make promises whether it be to always take out the trash out on trash day or to forever be their safe space make sure you make actual vows.
Writing your own vows is not an easy task to complete but with the above tips and tricks we hope that finding the words to promise a life of happily ever after can be that much easier. Happy writing!!