Choosing a first dance song is one of the most important music decisions of your wedding. This song kicks off the dancing portion of your reception, setting the tone for the rest of the celebration. It will also likely be the song that you and your sweetie define as “our song” for the rest of your lives. Selecting the perfect tune is a seemingly easy decision that can quickly turn overwhelming. After all, there are so many amazing options to choose from. We’re here to help take some of the stress out of deciding on a first dance song, so you can get back to focusing on all the romantic wedding fun.
Check out these tune choosing do’s and don’ts to ensure that your song will be one to cherish at the reception and for years to come.
The Do’s
1.) Pick Something Evocative.
You can’t go wrong with a song that relates to happy memory in your relationship. Maybe it’s a song that played at the restaurant during your first date or maybe it’s a love song that was popular around the time you got really serious. Whatever the meaningful moment, going with a song that triggers pleasant memories will make your first dance song unique to your relationship.
2.) Find a Common Musical Ground.
Even if you don’t have a special song tied to your relationship, you can still find one that resonates with you and your significant other. A good place to start is by going with a genre that you both enjoy. Also, think of significant moments in your love story, whether it’s a funny misunderstanding you had or a cute quirk of yours or your partner’s. Then do some online research, paying attention to songs with lyrics that mirror your relationship.
3.) Consider Your Wedding Theme and Venue.
If you’re struggling to find the perfect song, try keeping your wedding atmosphere in mind. If you’re having a beach wedding reception, maybe a laid-back song, like “Is This Love” by Bob Marley, could be the perfect choice. Or if your reception is more of a classy ballroom affair, go with a classic tune like “At Last” by Etta James or one of Michael Bublé’s many swoonworthy tunes.
4.) Ask a Friend or Family Member.
An outsider’s perspective can come in handy if you can’t come up with an ideal song to celebrate your love. Someone who knows you well has probably seen or heard about you and your soon-to-be spouse’s relationship from the beginning. If you feel like they would have good insight, asking them if they can think of any songs that remind them of you and your partner could prove useful. They might come up with some wonderful choices that you would have never thought of.
5.) Go Hollywood.
Your favorite Hollywood flick could be just the source you need for first dance song inspiration. Whether it’s a specific “awww”-worthy scene or a beautiful song that played during the end credits, movie soundtracks are an excellent resource for wedding day music. From “Armageddon’s” power ballad “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” to “I’ve Had the Time of My Life” from “Dirty Dancing”, film-inspired first dance songs are a great choice.
The Don’ts
1.) Don’t Make Assumptions.
Some songs may sound romantic, but upon closer listening, however, the lyrics and their corresponding meaning are quite the opposite. Pay attention to all the lyrics in the song and not just the first couple verses or the chorus. Some common songs that seem like perfect first dance songs but actually aren’t include: “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt, “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele, “Marry Me” by Thomas Rhett, “I Will Always Love You” by Dolly Parton (or Whitney Houston), and “Stay With Me” by Sam Smith.
2.) Don’t Go Too Long.
A first dance song that’s too long will leave you and your partner feeling awkward and your guest feeling bored. This is especially true if you don’t have any choreography. Not that there’s anything wrong with not having a planned dance routine, but keep in mind that swaying back and forth will feel like an eternity if your song is four minutes or longer. Whether you have choreography or not, around three minutes is an ideal time. The song should definitely be longer than a minute but less than four. You can also work with your DJ or band to cut your song choice down to a danceable length.
3.) Don’t Forget About the Rhythm.
The music may be beautiful and the lyrics may be perfect but don’t forget that you actually have to dance to your song of choice. That’s why it’s key to pay attention to the melody. Avoid a fast tempo song unless you really want to get your groove on or are planning an upbeat routine. If you really have your heart set on a faster paced song, some DJs can customize the rhythm of a song to make it work for slow dancing. Whatever you decide, it’s best for you and your partner to give your song a practice run before the big day, so you can get an idea of what it actually feels like to dance to.
4.) Don’t Limit Yourself to Only Current Songs.
Yes, the current hits are probably the songs most at the forefront of your mind, but there’s something so timeless about a classic tune. Head over to Spotify and spend some time listening to playlists from the 50s through the 90s. If it still resonates today, chances are it still will 10 years from now. And while there’s nothing wrong with a contemporary song choice, it does run the risk of becoming a tune that evokes embarrassing one-hit wonder feels years later. Choose wisely. Your first dance song will forever remind you of your big day.
5.) Don’t Go It Alone.
It’s easy to get carried away with your personal favorite song choices, but if you aren’t involving your partner in the decision, you can’t really call it “our song”. By making your first dance song pick a unified decision, it will have that much more significance. You should both love the song and be comfortable dancing to it. Run songs by each other or even take the time to listen to tracks or playlists together to ensure that you choose one that speaks to both of you.
A Memorable Musical Moment
The music and lyrics of your first dance song will help define those magical moments of newly-wedded bliss, and they’ll also evoke memories of the day you said “I do” for the rest of your lives. As long as you and your partner give it some thought and follow your hearts, you’re sure to pick a first dance song that lets the beauty of your love shine through for years to come.
