First off – congrats! You’ve been bestowed the honor of being chosen as the best man. With this honor, however, comes great responsibility. And we’re not talking about planning an awesome bachelor party. We’re referring to what is probably the most meaningful part of your duties: the best man speech.
If you’re worried about making a fool of yourself while you deliver a speech in front of a large gathering of family and friends, you’re hardly alone. The fear of public speaking affects about 73% of the population. You might also be stumped about the actual writing of the speech. Where do you even start? Writing and public speaking – talk about a lethal combination. Cast your fears and worries aside! We’ve pulled together some great advice and tips on how to write a memorable best man speech and then deliver it with aplomb.
The Write Stuff – Speech Writing Tips
Before you study up on how to deliver the speech, you actually need to write the thing. But it doesn’t have to be an intimidating task. These 7 tips and tricks can actually make the process simple and fun:
1.) Keep It Short (But Not Too Short).
Thankfully, you don’t have to draft some long, drawn out presentation. Three to five minutes is ideal, with five minutes being the max. A speech that’s too long will leave the guests restless and bored. One that’s too short will make it look like you didn’t put any thought into it. For reference, a three to five minute speech is between 450 and 750 words.
2.) Make a Good First Impression.
Your opening statement sets the tone of the speech. Consider leading by addressing the audience with gratitude and then introducing yourself by name and how you know the groom.
3.) Tell a Story.
Follow your opening statement with a story or two that connects your relationship with the groom to his relationship with the bride. It could be a story about a moment you were hanging out with the couple and came to the realization that the groom had met the one. Or it could be a story about how the bride and groom bring out the best in each other. You could even relate a funny (but not inappropriate) incident that occurred while they were dating.
4.) Find the Right Balance.
While a few jokes here and there are a great way to engage the crowd, too many will make your speech come across as an open-mic night. Your speech should be an ideal balance of humorous and sentimental. Also, keep in mind that while it’s a good idea to lightly roast the groom, steer clear of roasting the bride. Even if you’re pretty close with her, the wedding day is a highly idealized moment for a bride, and it’s likely to not go over well.
5.) Avoid the Inappropriate.
Nothing takes a wedding speech from captivating to cringe-worthy faster than an inappropriate anecdote. No matter funny you may think it is, there are certain topics that should always be avoided:
- Negativity about marriage. No “ball and chain” jokes please.
- Ex-wives or girlfriends.
- Drinking, drugs, or anything to do with bodily functions.
- Raunchy humor or any other mention of sex.
6.) Follow an Outline.
By breaking the speech up into small sections it will help make the writing process much less daunting. It will also help prevent your speech from going all over the place and veering off topic. The following is a useful outline to get you started:
- Have a captivating opening line and introduction.
- Congratulate the newlyweds.
- Tell a story about your friend and link it with the bride.
- Make a joke about the groom.
- End with a famous quote or a few lines from a poem.
- Raise your glass and propose a toast.
7.) Stay Authentic.
Staying true to yourself will alleviate much of the speech-writing pressure. Oftentimes, the best man feels like it’s his job to make the speech super humorous, but there’s no need to be a stand-up comedian if it doesn’t come naturally. The reverse is also true. If you’re more of a funny guy, don’t pressure yourself into writing an incredibly formal, heartfelt speech. Keep the tone of your writing in line with your personality.
Speak Easy – Speech Delivery Tips
Once you’ve figured out how to draft the best best man speech ever, it’s time to move forward to the actual speech-giving part. This will be your moment to really shine and celebrate the newlyweds! No worries if you’re feeling the pressure and already coming down with a case of stage fright jitters. We get it. Public speaking is no easy skill to master. But if you follow these key tips, you’ll deliver that speech like a professional orator:
- Practice What You Speak. They say practice makes perfect, and that motto is especially true when giving a speech. Practice saying your speech out loud at least three times. This a is great way to figure out if certain lines sound clunky or if you tend to say “um” or “like” a lot. To make your practice even more worthwhile, use your smartphone and record yourself delivering the speech. Then, watch it back to get an even better feel for how you’re doing. You could also try saying it in front of a close friend. They’ll be able to provide you with valuable feedback.
- Write It Down. Don’t feel pressured to have your speech completely memorized. You’ll feel a lot more at ease if you have it written down, so you can glance at it from time to time while you’re delivering it. No need to write the whole thing down verbatim either. A few bullet points will do. If you find it easier, you can even read it from your smartphone screen.
- Add Some Personality. Make sure the tone of your voice fits the tone of each part of your speech. If it’s a more sentimental moment, slow down your speaking. A funny anecdote? Keep your voice excited and light. By varying the pace and adding personality at the right moments, you’ll keep the audience emotionally engaged.
- Speak Clearly. People tend to talk really fast when they’re nervous. Avoid doing this by breathing slowly and speaking clearly. Also, don’t mumble. The guests will have a hard time hearing you, and it will make you sound boring. Just enunciate your words and speak confidently, and you’ll be great!
- Stay Sober. Yes, a few drinks might give you some liquid courage. But there’s nothing endearing about a slurred, sloppy speech. Not to mention it might cause you to blurt out something inappropriate. Save the drinking for after you deliver your speech.
Cheers to an Awesome Speech
By utilizing these useful speech writing and delivery tips, you’ll significantly boost your chances of making your best man speech a hit. Thoughtful planning and practice go a long way in wowing the wedding crowd. Let’s cheers to that!
